Hey people,

Another long overdue update..haha havent been able to find the time to update...or shld i say, many tots in my head, but cant seem to find the words to put down in the entry...haha writers' block? haha

Work has been going fine..i just got another certificate for Quality Business Award for the month of August..if things go well...every mth i hope to get a certificate for each award around..haha it seems like a small thing, but at least it is telling me that i am doing sth rite..somehow...even though its tiring and exhausting at times, i guess these little things help alot...somehow.

Im still trying to run for many other awards..and i cant say things are really going my way, but i refuse to think like that..all the negative tots in my head..VANISH!! Haha, i wish its that easy..haha some doubts now and then, but pple ard me, those ard me, have been very supportive and encouraging in many ways. I dun wan to let them down, so I really wan to make it in this line..and reach my goal...to move into management level...thank you all for being there, for making things easy for me somehow...for being ard..and most important of all, for trusting me.

Till the next time
Love
Shannon

I am the TOP Adviser for the month of July in my organisation !!

Hehe i still have a long way to go, so please still continue to support me...hehe

I wanna thank everyone who has been ard for me all these while and providing me support and encouragement when I need them.

Thank you !

Love
Kailing

I have received complaints about my blog being dead...well, almost. It's been a long time since I have updated anyway. So technically speaking, you can consider it dead, but then again, what is death when you have no time to feel alive?

Oh well, I have started work for about a month and it has not been easy, i guess, especially since I have chosen a career path, not everyone agrees with. I cannot say that I am 100% comfortable in this current career, but I guess a little discomfort does push me to go further, if I try hard enough.

I used to think that it is easy to be where I am now, but guess what? One whole month of training before starting work officially, I can only say that it is not as simple. After starting work officially, I still have to go through 3 whole months of training. On top of that, the part that I find it most difficult is the sales part.

Never thought that I would go into such a line, and although it is a management trainee scheme, I still have to start from the lowest rung of the corporate ladder, to go into doing field work. The only thing that keeps me going is the ultimate aim of me going into a management position in the next 3 years.

So dear folks, who have not given up reading this blog of mine, thank you for your endless support of coming to this site to read about my mundane life, especially since I am now slogging my ass off, do help me keep a look out if you come across any one interested in getting their finances planned out and managed. Do let me know. It is much appreciated. Really !

Signing off with lots of love,
Your personal financial adviser.

Kailing

I think I need some time to think about my future

I think I need some time to think about my job

I think I need some time to think about my life

I think I need some time to think about you


I think there's only so much I can say, but so little I can do. I can only bump around and loiter around and hope things straighten themselves out, but how possible can that be?

i don't like feeling helpless, I don't like feeling out of control. I may be considered a control freak but only when I feel in control, can I be sure of what to do next and what to expect next. But right now, the situation renders me helpless, renders me lost and aimless.

I need some form of guidance, I need some form of directions. I need to know if you are on the same page as me, or since a long time ago, I was left on this page all alone while you have moved on or fallen behind without me knowing.

If time is what you need, then time is what you get, but do be aware that time waits for no men and if the time is missed or has come to pass, then whatever the results may turn out to be, I can't promise that things won't change.

You said you are not sure, you need to be sure, but even if you are sure now, it does not mean that you will be sure forever and ever. Things change and people change. Why do you need time to be sure when no one can be sure of anything? I don't understand and I think I will never understand. But I do want to try to work things out together and are you able to do that?

You said you felt pressured and stressed by everyone, I'm sorry but there's nothing I can do to make that better for you. I can only tell you this - whatever things may be, it is between the 2 of us. If you are so bothered about what others say, then in the first place, when I told you it wasn't going to be easy, you should be prepared for it. Growing up has its pressures, has its problems, but you can't always run away from them. It doesn't work that way.

Now you are buckling under the stress, under the pressures, is it fair to me? Please do think about this and give me a sign.

A sign to show that it was all worth it

A sign to show that it is still worth it

A sign to show that it will be worth it

I am PISSED !!

Sigh, sometimes I hate extended families. Sometimes I wish there is no one else around but only my family. Full stop.

No nonsensical relations with aunties and uncles who do not seriously deserve any respect from me. Not even from the dogs, cats and pigs..or whatever animals in the world, not even from the cockroaches, the lowest form of animal on earth.

They seriously make my life miserable. As if comparing studies is not enough, now we have to compare future husbands, future husbands' family background and better still..shall we compare whose dick of the future husband is longer? Oh MY GOD

GROW UP !! Grow up to be of your age man, be 50 years old instead of 05 years old can? Does it really matter who is better? Shouldn't you just want your kids to be happy and of course comfortable? Does it really matter who wins? Of course, I want to win, I am competitive by nature, never deny that trait of mine, but really, at the expense of your kids? I am not that evil.

What matters most is all of us are happy right? You want your daughter to be happy, my mum also wants me to be happy, so why must you make life difficult for her and as a result, makes me pissed because of your comparisons? I never asked for such comparisons right? I don't go around saying, "Haha, your daughter is a lousy neighbouring school eh..? Aiyoh, your daughter's boyfriend cannot make it ar..? My mum doesn't either.

Why must you start all these crap? Your life has no meaning is it? Then go do volunteer work la, be a toilet cleaner or road-sweeper, whatever la, just leave my mum and me out of your stupid comparisons.

F**k off  Bitch !!

I just knew that someone around me got accepted into Harvard for a Masters' Program !!!

Makes me wonder, where am i going in my life now?

Sometimes I wonder, where did all my friends go to? I know there are some who are always here, who are always just an sms away, who are always on MSN and who are always near me. But still sometimes, I cant help but feel that I dont have enough friends, who can keep me company, who can listen to me and who can talk to me. Maybe its all my fault. I made things turn out this way, I was the one who decided that I can only meet so many of them and as a result, alot of them left. Maybe they din left, maybe they are still around, but because of some assumptions I have, I think they are not here.

Sometimes, when u are in a relationship, you begin to wonder when does the spark burn out? And if the spark burns out, what do you do to relight it? What can you do to not rely on each other so much? What can you do to learn to give each other space and be alone? What can you do when you feel upset because you feel that the relationship is sometimes not as important you think it is for the other party? Logically, you should know that each of you has your friends, each of you has the right to choose to go out with other friends, to meet other friends and to catch up with other friends. Each of you should also know that you do not want to impose yourself on each other especially if you know that each other needs rest and energy and that people gets easily irritable when they are tired. Each of you should also know that there are some things that dont need to be said so clearly in black and white. Likewise, each of you should know each other's priorities.

Maybe its just me. I expect too much. I did what I had to do, and now I wish and hope you do the same things I did. But life is not like that, you cannot compare and gauge how much efforts you put in and then want the other party to do the same things. Maybe its just me. I no longer know what I can do. Is it wrong of me to feel the distance because of the length of time that has passed? Is it wrong of me to feel less important, despite knowing logically, that things are not like that?

Girls' emotions are so fragile. They get affected by so many things around them and sometimes, they just dont know how to express them. Must girls explain everything in details so that their loved ones can understand them? Then doesnt that defeat the purpose of their loved ones supposedly understanding them and knowing them the best? If girls can be sensitive to things around them, then why cant others do the same?

Theres so much things, yet, so few .....

Really.

And I am BACK !!!


Sigh, more work ....